10 OldFashioned Dating Habits We Should Make Cool Again by Kate Bailey
by blanko
Summary: Amy is dealing with it okay? Karma not so much.


**10 Old Fashioned Dating Habits We Should Make Cool Again by Kate Bailey**

It was definitely a Monday because Karma started calling at 5am with her screeching happy voice telling her to "rise and shine" and get her ass up so they can start the week with a positive feel.

She hated Mondays just so you know but ever since they started "faking it" or whatever, she couldn't help it because whenever Karma pull these kind of things on her, it actually makes her smile, the goofy kind, where her zygomaticus muscles does all the work and she's trying really hard to maintain a straight face and don't flinch on every contact they make.

She still hates Mondays but only when her best friend in the world does a 180 and flirt with that vampire export wanna be who Karma thinks the world of which she couldn't understand even if she tried.

Yeah? because her type is totally hot and all kinds of interesting except sometimes her said type's choices are a little bit shady especially when it comes to men... Or boys because they're still in high school and boys don't mature unless they turn 50 but eh, she's rambling now so stop.

So she stayed on the line with Karma for another 5 minutes and 10 more just coz she can. She's so good at pretending to be half asleep with groans and all that Karma buys it all the time.

Okay, now she's starting to question Karma's credibility or should it be naivety? When people act shady around her Or maybe she's just that good of an actress pretending to be so self-absorbed and hence not caring what other people might think. Anyway! She better not be thinking about these kind of stuffs because shower.

She waited for "byeeeeee!" on the other line before putting her phone down and get ready when a thought hit her.

Shane did tell her to play her cards right and that girl from the online dating site, Jessie? Jasmine! Told her she wouldn't be able to move on completely if she wouldn't tell her bestfriend how she feels. Really feels. And that's P.s iloveyou bad because how will Karma react? Ditch her probably.

Or she could die and leave a very touching love letter. Hahaha

Such futile attempts.

So instead she opens her laptop and asks google for help and voila! 10 Old Fashioned Dating Habits We Should Make Cool Again by Kate Bailey. Exactly as she needs it.

Though she could use the 8 weird questions you want to ask your lesbian friends or the 9 sex hack every person should know, she fought the urge, skimmed through and just bookmarked for later. Yay!

For now, she's got far greater things to worry about like her bestfriend, school and Karma!

_1. Straightforwardly asking someone out and not calling it "hanging out."  
_

She will have to test the waters first, feel the vibe and see how Karma reacts to certain circumstances.

Karma took it to herself to hold hands, throw her salacious smiles from time to time and of course the nerve! To kiss her on the lips and pretend it's the most natural thing in the world.

Being the "it couple" of a high school with hormonal teenagers gets to her sometimes. The looks and chatters behind her back makes her want to call the whole thing of and just be. Except Karma knows the way to her heart and yeah, shivers.

She really wanted to have a secret affair, tried, albeit so badly to get one but she's got self respect left to not want to add lies to the pile of lies she and her bestfriend got themselves into.

And she loves Karma. Well, not in love with her but love just love more than the bestfriends kind.

Monday's not technically over yet, she waits for Karma to be done with her latest shenanigans with that colorless boy and started doodling on her notebook. She really has to stop overthinking everything.

"Hey there girlfriend!" Karma sits beside her and plants a kiss on her cheek. "What are you writing?"

"Doodling." She rolls her eyes dramatically "I'm doodling."

"Yeah? Can I see?" Karma says a matter of factly.

"Uh? No." She puts the notebook back on her bag.

"Why not? It should be fun, come on girlfriend..." Karma whines and there's that smile again.

"We should get going, I have a show to catch up."

But it was too late because Karma was already rummaging in her bag and taking the notebook out, flipping through the page where she was writing a while ago. Doodling.

She stood there frozen, swallowing what was left of her pride and watched her bestfriend's reaction as she read her "doodles" aloud.

"I don't wanna hang out anymore, I want cuddles, holding hands and a lot more, date me, let's date! Stop faking it and let's do the real thing like watch movies, dress up for fancy dinners, go on dates? Karma, be my girlfriend for reals." The last few phrases were uttered in hushed tones as Karma realized what she's reading. She was sure she scratched the last part but her bestfriend can read through her messy handwriting like a pro.

"Amy?"

Normally, she would just walk out, forget things didn't happen and ignore Karma for a day or so then everything will get back to normal.

But Shane was right, and so was Jasmine and there's still so many years ahead of them and if she wasn't sure of anything, she was sure that Karma will and always be her bestest friend in the whole wide world. If this fails, well? This too shall pass.

So she blurted out as clear as possible "uhm, All that and I'm free on Wednesday so if you'll say yes, I can pick you up for a change?"

"I..."

She could see Karma's eyes swim in doubt

"Don't worry, I promise I won't keep my hopes up?"

"Amy, you're my best friend."

"I know, and we'll still be that, just one date?"

Karma hands her notebook back and she swore she'd seen her eyes twinkle.

All that was forgotten when Karma reached for her hand and entwined their fingers together. She tried telling herself that this wAs Just like old times but who was she kidding.

Karma wakes her in her reverie when she said "or two? Depending on how you score on our first date?"

"Are you sure? What about Liam?" She had to stop and face her best friend for appraisal.

"Woah, easy there! It's not like you're asking me to be your girlfriend or something,right? Besides, a date is fair game? What do you think?" There's that look again, that's what she thinks.

"Right! Totally!cool!"

"So Wednesday huh?" Karma inquires

"Oh, shut up!It's a surprise."

"Come on Amy?! Give me details!" Karma whines, but it was music to her ears.

In conclusion, She doesn't totally hate Mondays anymore in fact, Mondays are great! Mondays are a lovely day to wake up to, the five am phonecalls are only icing to the cake.

Because Monday is Straightforwardly ask someone out and not calling it "hanging out." Kind of day.

And what's best? It works!

_2. Trying to dress really nicely for a date.  
_  
When she shared Shane the good news, he insisted they go shopping at once, that or they'll kidnap her Lauren so she could hijack her walk in closet.

She didn't put on a fight, not when a lot is at stakes in that one date and she really needs to up her dress game a notch if she wants a girlfriend, the real kind.

But it's really the least she can do for Karma because the mere fact that she said yes to this date is going to be the highlight of her entire high school repertoire, understatement.

She was on her umpteenth change of outfits that she was sure she had memorized all of Shane's facial expressions by now, even the quirks and the tiny uppity of his lip.

It's crucial she does this right. The list says she had to pick her date up and give her some token of affection, so many things so little time. She could've picked Saturday instead but no, she had to stick to her superstitions, not that she believed in them before.

"Ugh, Netflix called and they want their inmate back. Amy?!" He whines "you don't wear khakis on dates, not even when you can get away with it. Here, try this on."

"Leather jacket?"

"You can't pull off an Emily Fields so let's see how Emma Swan looks on you."

"I don't even wanna ask."

Shane winks at her end shooed her to the dressing room.

When she got out Shane did a poor attempt at whistling "well hot damn, we found ya a match and Emma Swan it will be."

"I'm not sure I can even afford this."

"We'll worry that later. Where to next?"

She checks her list. "Flowers."

"Flowers it is."

_3. Coming to the door to pick someone up._

Shane had finished her hair and make up and was already on the way to his own rendezvous which he insisted was the list of her worries.

She's been staring at the clock for far too long.

When her phone alarms,she jumped off her bed and almost tripped down the stairs for fear of inquisitions from her mom.

This is it, no turning back. She repeated it like a mantra in her head until she reached Karma's driveway.

And when she did, boy did she want to pass out right then and there. Her knees are betraying her and her stomach's swirling sending nauseating signals to her brain.

Karma's dad opens the door and she was greeted with warm hugs and freshly baked cookies was handed to her by Karma's mom.

They were welcoming and just as accepting to them and she could not ask for more.

"You look gorgeous tonight Amy dearest, my daughter would be delighted to have dated such fine young lady."

"Uh, mom? Dad? Can you try not suffocate my date with pleasantries shall we?"

It was like nothing she ever felt before, seeing Karma, or just a glimpse of her red dress because her parents were blocking the view caught her heart in her throat.

When they parted so they can meet properly, she was speechless and maybe had an out of the body experience for a split second.

"Amy? Are you okay?" Karma panicked "see, mom? This is what happens when parents get to meet their daughter's dates first."

"Amy?"

"Uh... You look exquisite."

Karma offered her a big smile in return. "Aw, that's sweet. You look awesome yourself. Shall we?"

"Ah, yeah, yes. I mean, yeah sure."

_4. Bringing flowers or other tokens of affection to the first date.  
_  
Flowers are okay but it was never her thing, their availability and costs gives her temper tantrums and she's not even sure what ideal flower to give when they have gazillions of meanings that vary occasion from occasion.

She wanted it to be perfect.

So instead of just a flower, she now has 5 and a bunch of things she knows Karma loves from chocolates to candies to hand sanitizers. Her backseat now looks like a hotel bed full of gift baskets.

It was all so worth it when Karma's smile reached her eyes and embraced her tightly.

She was munching green tea kitkat and asking her where they're going.

_5. Going dancing that's not grinding on a grimy club floor._

She scratched number 5 off the list and changed it to fancy dinner because as much as Karma wants to party, planning their date takes its toll and partying will be too exhausting and energy absorbing so a fancy dinner in an off road restaurant it is.

Karma picked on her plate more than she did hers.

"So?! This date, what does it consists of?" Karma's always the chirpier one.

And her not so much "just uh, the usual? Dinner, dessert."

Her bestfriend glares at her.

"What?"

"Don't we get to watch a movie?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because I haven't thought of that?"

"Well, now you do."

"There's no good movies showing tonight."

"We'll have to find out."

"But we watch movies all the time when we hang out.." She whines because she really doesn't want to.

She eventually caved in and went with it because Karma did make some valid points.

What she didn't expect was for Liam to be there and approaching them and making squinty eyes with her date.

She can feel Karma fidget beside her and trying to make it work for her, after all, she did agree to one date with her for reals.

Liam invited them to sit with him but Karma refused in a heartbeat and took their still entwined hands towards the opposite direction.

She's not supposed to feel bad about it but now that they're seated and the movie was about to end without her knowing what it was about made her anxious.

First dates are supposed to feel good, like a walk in the park with cheesy pickup lines and gooey oglings involved. Maybe this is what reality feels like.

Her reality if she was being honest.

Because how dare she take Karma on this date without making sure she can live up to it.

There's just so many things she need to figure out, not with Karma but with herself.

It's going to be unfair to her bestfriend, to herself if she leaps into this new territory with "YOLO" as an excuse.

And Karma, god, Karma's the best thing that could ever happen to her, being her best friend and even playing her girlfriend in school is the highlight of her existence, she can't deny that.

* * *

When her mom found out she was the lesbian the school was talking about, she did not take it very well. There were shouting and disappointed sighs involved and when her stepdad took notice, he almost, almost threw his chair to cover up his feelings on the matter.

So imagine their flabbergasted selves when they found out she took Karma on a date and the whole 9 yards.

"We need to get you into a rehab."

"Please take that disgusting thought out of your mind sweetheart."

Her parents were beyond accepting at this point.

She cried.

Why do these things happen to her?

* * *

**Monday 5:25am**

The phone rings and she wakes up.

"Huh?" She gurgled

"Ammyyyyy! Wake up! It's Monday! And you know what they say about Mondays. Come on! Ammmyyyy! Are you awake yet?!"

"Yeah, huh, I'm here."

"Tell me about your dream?"

"Huh? What?"

"Clearly it's very good because my fingers are numb from redialing."

"It was a nightmare."

"Was it really?! Are you sure it's not about a certain boy you've kissed in the lockers?" Amy teased.

"What?! Who told you?!" Oh, she's definitely awake now.

"I'll tell you when I get there. Laterrrr!"

She was left with the dial tone and the remnants of a very bad dream.

But just to make sure, she tries her laptop for assurance and types what she remembers most and voila! There it was: Kate Bailey and her words of wisdom.

Now she's really just confused more than anything.

And it's only Monday.

_6. The general concept of asking permission for things._

Monday came and went without a fuss except Shane's generous advice and willing ear to listen to her ramble about all things Karma. and self doubt.

Did she make up her mind in some things? Well, kind of? She really isn't sure until it happens.

Tuesday made it clear to her that Liam atleast shares a mutual admiration for Karma and she wants to punch someone.

Her life is an irony of many things. Fuck.

She found Karma in theater club on her free period.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure, yeah."

"Here?"

"Where do you want?"

"Here's fine." She said a matter of factly.

"So?"

"I'm just gonna go and say it okay?" Karma raises a brow "can we please please please break up now before my feelings get involve and I end up having unrequited love issues with you that will shatter our friendship and I don't really want that so please break up with me?"

Karma's brow shoots up "Wow! Did you just?..."

"I just did."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Okay."

"Thanks." She stumbles to walk away because that's basically her plan.

"Wait!" Karma grabs her arm.

"Do you want to talk about it? We can talk about it." Now she just look concerned which is a good thing,right?

"No, I mean... Shane's been helping me."  
She can feel Karma's hold loosen and watched her best friend's expression falter.

"Oh, that's good. I... I'm sorry... I didn't know."

"Hey, you're not the only one. I didn't know either." She tries to act nonchalant, like it's no big deal.

"Okay..." She can see the wheels turn in Karma's head as she tries to process what she had just told her. "Do you want a public break up?"

"Yeah, that'll be great." She's quick to respond just so this can be done with.

_7. Additionally, being clear about when you're "going steady."  
_

They're officially broken up by Wednesday and the whole school reacted worse than that one time they protested with a hunger strike.

Everyone wants to comfort them or know what happened. Who broke up with whom? Was there a third party involved? Some called dibs on whom to date them, some just gossips.

It's what a real breakup should be and it's not like their friendship was at stake here, was it?

Because they made sure they're still best friends and as Karma would put it, it was just finally coming clean and not having to lie to anyone at all.

Because lying sucks and them "faking it" had already done its purpose because they are now famous. Undeniably so.

_Additionally, it should be made clear where you "draw the line" whether romantically speaking or not._

And it might not mean as much to Karma as it does her, things are better off this way.

_8. Romantic gestures like writing poems._

Instead of sulking, she wrote things like:

I wrote a Letter  
On a tear blotched page  
Hoping one day you will read it  
Put a smile on your face  
So I decided  
I will seal it with a a goodnight kiss  
I will send it in your sleep

And in my dreams you tell me  
That you love me and  
I'll say I love you too

Look at the stars and match the colors with your eyes  
A constellation a revelation  
Love will suffice

A bottle of vodka didn't help  
All the words intersect  
Wishing one day I won't need it  
When I put a smile on your face  
Instead the frown you have on  
Everytime I stand on your door

I drew a portrait of love gone wrong

Or

I wish the stars keep falling  
Burst into billion glitters  
Rain on me so I can  
Feign innocence  
Like when it was before  
And not after the outrage

I bet you know what happened  
I don't care if the stories were altered  
Cover my hand in yours  
What's another storm to a blazing sun

Hurry we don't have much time  
I'm only starting to learn  
In a moment's notice  
Close your eyes

How do you mend  
A burn from an ice cold heart  
The broken pieces  
melted to the ground

I hope to be the best for you  
An exception, the fall back  
Except this is the fallout  
And I have no clue  
how to fight for you

Hurry we don't have much time  
I'm only starting to learn  
In a moment's notice  
Close your eyes

Maybe if I dream hard enough  
I will wake up in an alternate aftermath

Close your eyes

Just to remind herself that things will get better in time.

_9. Turning electronics off and just being with one another._

There wasn't a damn thing that changed. They're still the best of friends. 5 am phonecalls are still rituals. Watching reality tv shows is still fun.

They still hang out except Karma sees to it her phone's off and no talks of Liam was ever brought up.

Except when she looks in Karma's eyes she sees a girl who's eager to talk about her first date, her first kiss and all that in between. It's not as if she's taking the easy way out, it's just it stings and she's hurting and Karma have to understand that. She's being selfish, who was she kidding? Their friendship got the worst of it. She should compromise.

When Karma came over during one of their girl weekends, she settles.

She asks for Liam, how much she'd missed on in the details and Karma, teary eyed embraced her and talk to her heart's content about his first official boyfriend.

"You know why I like Liam so much? It's because she's like you, in a way? Crazy right? But when you get to know him, I bet you'll see that too. He's more than what he wants people to see, he's got layers and humor and he's a good kisser. Most of all, he gets me." Karma fell asleep with a smile on her face. Snuggling closer to her like she always does.

It was the longest night of the year. She stayed awake repeating what Karma just told her.

It wasn't that hard, slowly, she thinks she's getting their flow back. Best Friends. Family.

They may have been a tear or two involved. She might've locked herself in the bathroom for a moment to get some grip of what her Bestfriend just told her.

In the end, it doesn't matter because it is what it is and changes can happen but not this change... She'd invested too much for her to ruin everything they've built.

_10. Not assuming sex is to be had at any point in time._

_Or as she call it, not assuming your feelings are returned at any point in time._

She watched as Karma does this kind of laugh she used to only share with her but now that Liam's in the picture, it didn't feel so special anymore.

Whatever that colorless boy's telling her was sure to get her bestfriend's heart right on through.

Karma tends to wear her heart on her sleeves and seeing her hurt was never an option.

She reached for her back pocket and pulled the crumpled piece of paper she printed a month ago.

"10 Old Fashioned Dating Habits We Should Make Cool Again by Kate Bailey"

It was a good read. She laughed when she thought of it.

"Hey! Sorry to keep you waiting, Liam wanted to make some changes on the drama set designs."Karma sits beside her. "What are you writing?"

"Doodling." She rolls her eyes dramatically "I'm doodling."

"Yeah? Can I see?" Karma says a matter of factly.

"Uh? No." She puts the notebook back on her bag.

"Why not? It should be fun!" Except it's not and Karma whines and there's that smile again.

"Actually, this is for you mind waiting here? I'll just give it to him, fast."

"Oh, so you're suddenly exchanging love letters behind my back?" Karma says with a mischievous smile on her face.

"Relax, you're boyfriend's not my type." She had to roll her eyes at this. "This is a copy of my math homework."

Karma shrugs.

* * *

She takes one last glimpse of her best friend and thinks of the messed up feelings she harbors for her, if only things were different.

She swallowed what bitter taste left and called for the colorless boy's attention.

Her smiles so wide she could feel her cheek below her eyes "Please pretend I'm giving you my math homework?"

Which Liam complies with a mumbled "Thanks" When he finally unfolded the paper and read the first few lines.

"I haven't had the chance to congratulate you yet and give you my blessing so it's a step, right?"

"Yeah, I guess? But you really didn't have to.."

"but I do because I'm her Best friend and I hate to see her get hurt so promise me you'll take care of her and atleast follow most if not all of what's written there because you know how Karma loves to romanticize romance and i'm rambling so you know, whatever just I'm glad it's you and not some douche."

Liam smiles and she knows she did the right thing because even when his embrace was unlike Karma's, she knows he meant it when he whispered "I love her, thank you."

And she's suddenly conscious and looks over to where she left her best friend.

Karma's still the queen of naivety when she feigned innocence and didn't once asked why Liam had to embrace her over a math homework.

* * *

Maybe not now, not exactly this time, maybe not ever but she has yet to figure that out.

There are still a lot of questions like is she really gay? Does she have a type or just like Shane said 'a Karma sexual'? Her mom and her new family that she's a part of, her dreams, her goals in life. All the yet untold stories of her broken heart waiting to be mend. These are things she's yet to discover and is willing to wait to find out.

High school's so far from being over. Her life, all the more.

if anything, she still hopes beyond all hopes that when all of these happen, Karma's still on her side.

As her Best friend, her Family or just maybe... her Girlfriend.

Who knows right?

**the end?**

a/n: ahhhh! my first Karmy fic! i was on tumblr and saw the Kate Bailey post, inspiration ensues and here i am trying my take at it. thoughts? comments? please don't hesitate to tell me how much i can't write fluff. haha. but damn, i have so much hope for AMY! so much so that by the time the show's finish, Karma's falling like a rocket ship head over heels with AMY! and they live happily ever after. BOOM!


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